The Singing Pleaser

When the ‘Pleaser’ is singing everyone is held hostage…including the one singing. The Pleaser is the first protective self to be born over the infant to be pleasing and to get the love that it needs to survive.
This can be the hardest self to see because we can be so identified to this self for survival. It’s part of a control system that insures attention but in it’s extreme the Pleaser can be very dark and difficult to be around.
One feels they are being manipulated even though the one who is speaking is being So Nice.
It is an abandonment of self, and when the Pleaser is singing the one singing does not receive any benefit whatsoever.
The singing Pleaser can also attach itself very conveniently to the New Age world of giving love and ‘healing the world’ with it’s ‘gifts.’
Only in my body do I know the difference between an act of sacrifice (pleasing) and an act of love.
Connecting to our inner life and feeling what is there is so important for every communication, including singing, so we no longer play out these parts of us that think we are so young and desperate. It’s time to reflect our inner connection outwards not to please the outer connection.
The more I connect with myself the more I can connect with you. Our authenticity can appear, but not until we meet this self in us that needs love from others and will do anything to get it.
Love the Pleaser for what she has done for you, and gently, separate…

Vibrational Medicine

patternsSinging and sound has shaped my life.  Not unlike how iron filings arrange themselves into intricate patterns when placed on a flat metal plaque while being vibrated with sound-waves.  This study of wave phenomenon, called Cymatics, was the discovery of German scientist Hans Jenny in the 1930’s and most visually demonstrated the way that sound shapes matter.

We are all being shaped by everything that is vibrating within us and around us and we are all making intricate patterns of our lives whether we mean to or not.

My musical shaping began at a young age singing with my Father in musicals and concerts where he was the feature singer and I sang in the chorus where I felt more comfortable and where I could blend in with other people.  I was a shy kid and when I was at home and wanted to sing, my shyness led me to the closet to sing with the doors closed.

And when I came out of that closet, I really came out.  For the next 15 years or so I would proceed to sing for my bread and butter and travel to various parts of the world singing in concert halls in China, smokey clubs in Finland and the UK, Jazz Kellers in Germany and United States.  I would become the first White Supreme in history backing up ‘Mary Wilson of the Supremes’ and saw the whole Motown era revisited through backstage eyes.  I performed a solo in David Foster’s song “Can’t You Feel It” at the 1988 Olympics in Calgary and wrote the World Games theme song 2001.   I recorded four albums and wrote three theme songs.

I was shaped by these events and created many intricate patterns within me which I would then spend the next 20 years re-harmonizing and re-turning back to a state of harmony within me from a state of dis-harmony.   These big events as amazing as they had been had impacted my body and my psyche to the point of exhaustion. My voice had collapsed and so had I and I was at a loss as to how to move forward in my life.

And so I listened. I became still. I took deep breaths and over time and to my surprise the voice that had been pointed outside of myself for others turned towards me and the healing sound of my own voice began to pour its medicine throughout my body and my being.

I know first hand the healing powers of the voice from the emotional, spiritual and soul levels.  I have spent years and years allowing my voice to penetrate and soften me to my core.  I have not done this because sound and singing brings relief from stress and anxiety, improved concentration and enhanced creativity.  I have not been trying to improve my vision or re balance my brain hemispheres, or increase alpha brainwave activity.  I have not been trying to access higher consciousness or move energy through stimulation of the cerebrospinal fluid increasing the kundalini life force.  All I have been trying to do, is. To. Feel.  Feel my voice moving through my body and waking it up piece by glorious piece.  I have done this to feel the beauty of my voice again and how it feels like every cell dances to the sound of one note and to remember how my body feels so open and alive after I sing. The voice lights up life and our whole being the way that nothing else can. Oh, and that other stuff is good too.

To conclude, here is a message from the director of the Association of Sound Healing Nestor Kornblum who says, “through the regular use of sound combined with intention we may begin to vibrate faster at a cellular or molecular level. This what is meant by “raise your frequency”. The higher rate of vibration creates larger spaces between the cells, making us less dense, and preventing negative or intrusive energies from sticking to us easily. In the 1930’s the medium Edgar Cayce predicted that sound would be the medicine of the future. That future is now. So let’s all raise our vibration to harmonize with the energies of this New Millennium!”

Like I said, all that other stuff is good too.




THE LOST TREASURE…Your Vocal Spectrum of Light

Singing is the magic and wonder of this world in full expression of itself and it’s inside of every one of us.  Forget what they might have told you, it is inside of you too.  When we sing we tap into a potent healing power that can heal yourself and those around you.  As well as it’s obvious beauty singing can calm, stimulate and charge your nervous system at the same time.  Singing connects us with others in the universal language of music and vibration and it connects us to our bodies, our feelings and our joy.

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To fully realize your voice is to know yourself and your vocal instrument; body, mind and spirit.  To be free and to sing without fear is indeed a journey of self-discovery in this life and one that I believe is worth taking.  Our voice never lies and will always tell us our inner weather barometer of what we are feeling, thinking and living. Our voice reflects our life. The question is are we listening what it is saying?

Inside your vocal range of highs and the lows, lies the treasure of your emotional spectrum of light which offers us a chance to sing and live in full color. We all have the capacity to sing high, low and in the middle even though we may not have access to it all right now.  Every note requires a ground of being and body for its existence, a place to land to find its resonance.  Every note impacts our bodies in some way and every note reflects our bodies emotional availability or lack thereof.  When a note can’t land it doesn’t have a platform to resonate inside of. That platform or land is our whole body instrument or as Valborg Webeck-Svardstrom, singer and author of Uncovering the Voice  says, “it (the body) could be called an extended larynx.”

Our dormant potential lies within us and to tune into this potential is to dive in and unlock the treasure that is buried within us through our voices range of colors and light.  Each note that we sing has the potential to unlock a feeling that has been held with us for a long time, and each note that is unavailable to us in terms of range and colour is holding this hidden treasure for us until we unlock it. Our voice is the reflection of our emotional palate, we all have the colors, we’re just not using all of them.

Our vocal spectrum includes the low rich tones in the depths of our body, to the crystal clear angelic quality of the high notes as well as the beauty and warmth that reflects the heart in the middle area of our voice.  The lows, the highs and the middle areas are all reflecting a part of who we are inside and how we live our life.  Where do you live in your range of being?

When pain and shock occurs in our lives we do what has been modeled to us by our parents and society and we absorb this shock and trauma in our bodies, we hide it. Instead of our bodies being instruments of light and love our bodies become shock absorbers.  This absorption takes up a lot of disc space in our mind and body where the free play of light might have once been.  It stops the river from running smoothly within us and as a consequence of this over time we lose our vocal and emotional range, and our joy.

It is no easy task to unlock this treasure inside because we have so much invested in keeping our treasure buried and not being able to access the feelings that are in the way of this gold. We buried our treasure a long time ago but we forgot where we buried it, and, we lost the key, and, well, we lost the map.  But mostly we forgot we had treasure in the first place.

It is one thing to know this but another thing to find it.  In front of this pain are guards that won’t let you near it.  We think the guards are in front of the treasure and that we just have to go past the guards to the treasure, but the guards are keeping you away from the pain that is in front of the treasure.

Our voice is the light that can guide us into the cave to find our hidden treasure.  Our task is to explore the territory of our range and the movement of notes up and down and in the middle with curiosity not fear, and with the light of a miner going into a cave, only seeing a few feet in front of us.   We will go through and meet the obstacles that are tests to see if we really want to find the treasure.  One step at a time, one note at a time.  Claim your territory, your land, your light and claim your voice.

We need to take others with us to show us their light as we show ours.  It is in the shining of your light that I see the treasure that I am missing and yearn for. This buried treasure is our vocal emotional range of being, which awaits us, which beckons us. The light of our voice and the light of who we are are like magnets pulling towards each other.  Trust this attraction and allow them to come together, to pull us closer to the truth of who we really are.

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really are.” Hafiz