The Castle of Time

Bear with me.  Most are living inside of many, many layers of shock and freeze.  If you have any dis-ease, pain or illness then you have been shocked and have not been able to get out of the frozen held place within you that you are in and this will never change until or unless you get some pretty amazing help to get out of that frozen place. 

‘Just let it go and get over it’ are but just a couple of unhelpful phrases that I have heard my whole life from people who themselves are frozen but too identified with Being Frozen to notice.  I come along and trigger them and they tell me to ‘get over it’.  They are coping, we are all coping. 

The blows that happen when we are little act like little weights that put pressure on our energy system and over time they weigh us down.  When we are young we can manage these weights much better.  We bounce back quickly and are able to manage this weight. When we get older that doesn’t happen and then people begin to wonder what is it that is happening to me? I don’t understand where all of this pain came from? 

It’s always been there you have been able to cope, and, now you can’t.  The weights you have been carrying are too much and your system is beginning to break down.  The realization of these inner weights is very confusing and difficult to get out of and heal because you can’t see what you’re inside of.  Like a fish in water.  

Most don’t have any memory of anything wrong happening to them, or, if they do they didn’t see it as anything wrong or troubling because that’s what we do, we normalize something we don’t have any control of or understanding about.  It’s a defence mechanism and thank God for those built-in mechanisms. However…

It’s like you get frozen in time and then become a whole personality to cover over the pain that you are not.  Most will never go near this Castle of Time for fear of the cracks, weaknesses and vulnerabilities that will begin to show once the status quo gets questioned.  But for those that do go near it a whole other life begins to grow inside and upwards for new possibilities.  This movement of life begins to threaten the frozen weights of time and for a long time there is an ensuing inner battle that occurs inside. 

We are only capable of accessing a tiny bit of the incident, accident, shock or trauma at a time.  A tiny bit at a time because of how big it was in young nervous systems and if it were to come out as big as it went in it could re-traumatize the person.  It has to be small, and then you feel a little relief in you and miraculously a contrast begins to grow within you.  A contrast of light and dark. Of pain and relief.  Of life and freeze. 

This is a very important step to know that there is another way, there is light at the end of the tunnel and most don’t trust this for a very long time because it’s too scary to do so, to trust and hope that there is another way of living that is. 

Now when you burst one little piece of an incident or trauma this begins to build up your core energy to be able to handle another little piece of the incident and for it to be held inside of this growing awareness.  And this very unnerving process happens as long as it needs to.  There needs to somehow be an inner agreement with this difficult process if at all possible. 

You grow a little more substance, more core and self and then more freeze or holding in the body begins to feel safe enough to soften and to let go and move new life through you.  It’s disorienting and there’s no getting around it.   You need really, really good people to help you with this process or it can re-freeze people all over again. 

I believe this is why the hallucinogenics and the Ayahuasca medicines are being used so much, to get some awareness into these frozen places and get some healing around these wounds.  Everyone is different and I know people get relief taking this path and these medicines, but I also believe that not everyone knows what really, really good help is.  You are worth searching for this really good help, and it’s out there for you to support you in getting through the castle walls to freedom. 

When you meet one of these shocked places it can be like all of sudden you realize you are seeing through the eyes of an event that happened a long time ago and you had no idea of this.  Our eyes hold so much freeze for the body.  When one little piece gets moved through you and out of you people say they can even see better.   I liken it to looking through a stain glass window that has been cracked in many places.  Each of these cracks is an event that gets held inside of us until we are ready to see it, meet it and feel it through.  

Once this thawing process happens over and over again in bite size pieces that you can handle, you then begin to realize you have been looking through and seeing life inside of this freeze your whole life. You begin to question everything.  Is this real? What is real? Who is this person in front of me who is seemingly making me feel angry? Is this my frozen past that I am seeing through?  Good questions.  We project so much out of us onto the screen in front of us so it can be healed like a projector in a movie, only most don’t know this.  

Projection is Protection and is a great coping mechanism and it’s worked for a very long time, only it’s kept you inside of the Castle thinking this is your only reality.  It’s really helpful to know there is another reality and to stay really curious as to our reactions of what is in front of us, or even our non-reactions.    

If you are not at peace in any given moment then you are looking through the eyes of the past and the frozen places in you.  The Castle of Time has built many walls and they are thick, but there is alway the immense light of our awareness, the water around the castle, and a drawbridge to step across, whenever you’re ready.