Can you exercise your will and state your side in an argument?
Do you even know what your side is?
I like to look at situations, and especially heated discussions, from ‘above the battlefield’ in order to try to understand both sides of the equation.
This can sometimes leave me, ‘sitting on the fence‘ with my opinion.
Now at first glance it might seem that this is the right way to go, to look at it all from a distance to get the right perspective and to consider both sides before making a choice.
Sounds wise, smart and outrageously evolved, yes?
However this can be a slippery slope for me and sometimes a handy way to get out of confrontation.
I feel myself being so careful about saying the right thing or making the right move that I become paralyzed and well, do nothing.
I can see the other persons side so much that I abdicate my own opinion and believe that this is the higher decision or choice to make.
When what is being called for is a need to exercise my will and my truth, even if noone else agrees with me.
The truth is a peaceful place inside of me, it’s still and quiet and doesn’t roar, at least not quite yet!
The poet Rumi says, ‘Darkness is your candle, your boundaries are your quest.’
It’s like being in the darkness of confusion and searching for your edge (boundary).
And then how to communicate this edge of what feels right and what feels wrong to others.
I will move to music for a moment and the 8-note octave scale to help shed some light.
The musical 8-note scale is a reflection of the 8 levels of the human development of consciousness starting in utero.
If this is hard to grasp then you might think of it like the rings inside of a tree. Each ring is a level of development and has a certain frequency and corresponding note associated with it.
Yes, I’m sure I cleared that up for you…
The first level begins in the womb at 6 months of age and continues until the infant is a year and a half old or so.
This is the home note or in Solfeggi the ‘do’. (Insert hearing Julie Andrews singing in the Sound of Music.)
Jumping to the solar plexus and the 3rd note on the scale lies the will centre that is located just below the breast bone and above the belly button.
The place of power, choice and decision which is where things can get stuck and stay there sometimes for-ever.
As an infant hopefully we grow up within the safe, nurturing arms of a Mother and feel the natural movements through each energetic level of development in life.
However, this is quite rare and most people I know have not had such a smooth sailing in life.
To jump down one note to the 2nd note on the scale (no I didn’t forget it!) we are thrown head first into the sensations, movements and waters that live in the belly region.
Here at ‘re’ we are bombarded with colour and light and movement from dancing spinning mobiles in the crib to the constant movements of the core family that lean into us and move us around.
At this stage we are becoming more aware that we are separate from the Mother but still really in unawares that we are actually an individual human being.
At the 2nd level our developmental focus is moved ever so slightly away from the Mother and immersed into all to the sensations of movement, light and colour of the ever present vitality of life.
At the 3rd level the child grows into a toddler and into the ‘no I don’t like that’ phase which is where choice is born along with the natural rising of our egoic impulses.
This is the 3rd note ‘mi’ on the musical scale or ironically the ‘me’ as an individual that now knows it’s separate from you.
‘Don’t touch my things!’, says the child, ‘that’s mine you can’t have it!’, and so on as we try to assert and grow a will inside the life of the toddler who is now playing with fire.
Evolving the journey of the separate human being with needs, wants and desires that he or she is learning that just might be different from the ‘other kids’ needs and wants and desires.
It is around this time that the willfulness of the child meets the willfulness of the parent and herein lies the proverbial ‘fork in the road.’
A battle of wills ensues.
The authority of the parent and their issues with their own will centre and lack of development is now meeting the child’s will centre for a battle of the wills.
Coming back for a moment to the initial question, ‘do you feel you have a hard time exercising your will in your life?’ you might be able to recall a dynamic with your own upbringing with a parent or caregiver.
If you had a caregiver who asserted their dominance over you in an aggressive or abusive way then you are afraid of doing the same to not only others, but to yourself.
This is key, because it’s not that you don’t have a will and can’t make decisions, it’s more like somewhere inside of you you have decided that you would never want to treat someone the way you were treated. End of sentence.
This perspective might be out of your awareness and now all you feel is either guilty or weak or worse yet a failure in your life at your lack of decisioning (I made that word up, I like it so there.)
On the other hand you might have had a parent who let you do anything you wanted and didn’t set any boundaries at all.
This lack of the parents will did not then facilitate the development of the ‘no’ and the ‘yes’ differentiation in the body solar plexus region.
This important development brings understanding to what a balance of power really feels like in the body, an inner navigation system for life.
Which parent did you have?
The over-assertive parent who dominated or the under-assertive parent who acquiesced to your every whim?
Up one tiny semi-tone on the scale is the heart and the location of compassion and balance as we move from ‘mi to fa’ on the scale.
Our heart or four year old ‘fa’ wants to love all and accept everone.
This stage wants to wrap around everyone, to love and to be loved.
If you’ve ever seen four year olds hugging each other and holding on for dear life you have witnessed this stage.
The heart can be naive and unbalanced without having had the careful development in the fires of no and yes in the solar plexus ‘fa’.
For a moment let’s move to the physical body and take a closer look at the 3rd level solar plexus.
Check out for yourself that in this part of the body there are no bones there, no scaffolding like the ribs or the pelvis, but just this fleshy skin and muscle.
In my classes people have shared that this region feels ‘empty’, ‘vacant’, ‘tight’ or even ‘non-existent’.
This ‘empty space’ in the solar plexus that has no bones about it and is stuck in the middle with me, actually has no bones and is in the middle of my body!
It is at this meeting place that we need to develop and find the right balance of our no and our yes in order for this centre to stand up straight and come into alignment with the rest of the inner resource team.
In alignment with the loving heart above and the watery movement and sensation of ‘whatever goes’ below in the belly, and to link them both into the whole.
The evolution of ground to water to fire to air or, earth to movement to will to love flowing through the upward current of energy.
This is the natural development and activation of Inner Strength on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
Our developmental levels are our chance to work out our issues with power and authority and to take a look at how we were raised with either over-asserted or under-asserted parents.
The openness of love and acceptance in the heart needs the backbone of fire, will and strength underneath to keep it balanced and authentic.
We quite literally need to light a fire under it.
So that when two people come together in a relationship it’s like two whole circles uniting and intersecting at a small opening.
That intersection of the two circles is the relationship between the two people.
Standing steady holding my choice while you hold yours is humanities hill to climb.
The music, the elements, the senses, frequencies and vibrations are the lens that I use to look at life from above the battlefield to get a really good birds eye view of it all.
As well as learning to exercise my will and play in the dirt on the ground with the other kids.
“Living inside me color and light
Dancing and spinning this beautiful life.
The heartbeat of heaven, pulsing eternity
Endlessly turning, returning me, turning me, returning me.”
Those statements that locked time into a small room along with their voice and carefulness crept up around them to replace freedom.
Facing the world and stating who you are is the act of singing.
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