The Castle of Time

You are living inside of many, many bubbles of shock and freeze.  If you have any dis-ease, pain or illness then you have been shocked and have not been able to get out of the frozen held place within you that you are in and this will never change until or unless you get some pretty amazing help to get out of that frozen place. 

‘Just let it go and get over it’ are but just a couple of unhelpful phrases that I have heard my whole life from people who themselves are frozen but too identified with Being Frozen to notice.  I come along and trigger them and they tell me to ‘get over it’.  They are coping, we are all coping. 

The blows that happen when we are little act like little weights that put pressure on our energy system and over time they weigh us down.  When we are young we can manage these weights much better.  We bounce back quickly and are able to manage this weight. When we get older that doesn’t happen and then people begin to wonder what is it that is happening to me? I don’t understand where all of this pain came from? 

It’s always been there you have been able to cope and now you can’t.  The weights you have been carrying are too much and your system is beginning to break down.  The realization of these inner weights is very confusing and difficult to get out of and heal because you can’t see what you’re inside of.  Like a fish in water.  

Many don’t have any memory of anything wrong happening to them, or, if they do they didn’t see it as anything wrong or troubling because that’s what we do, we normalize something we don’t have any control over.  It’s a defence mechanism and thank God for those built-in mechanisms. However…

It’s like you get frozen in time and then become a whole personality to cover the pain that you are not.  Most will never go near this Castle of Time for fear of the cracks, weaknesses and vulnerabilities that will begin to show once the status quo gets questioned.  But for those that do go near it a whole other life begins to grow inside and upwards for new possibilities.  This movement of life begins to threaten the frozen weights of time and for a long time there is an ensuing inner battle inside the person. 

We are only capable of accessing a tiny bit of the incident, accident, shock or trauma at a time.  A tiny bit at a time because of how big it was in young nervous systems and if it were to come out as big as it went in it could re-traumatize the person.  It has to be small and then you feel a little relief in you and a contrast begins to grow within you.  A contrast of light and dark. Of pain and relief.  Of life and freeze. 

This is a very important step to know that there is another way, there is light at the end of the tunnel and most don’t trust this for a very long time because it’s too scary to do so, to trust and hope that there is another way of living. 

Now when you burst one little piece of one incident or trauma this begins to build up a persons core energy to be able to handle another little piece of the incident and for it to be held inside of this growing awareness.  And this very unnerving process happens as long as it needs to.  There needs to somehow be an inner agreement with this difficult process if at all possible. 

You grow a little more substance, more core and self and then more freeze or holding in the body begins to feel safe enough to soften and to let go and move new life through you.  It’s disorienting and there’s no getting around it.   You need really, really good people to help you with this process or it can re-freeze people all over again. 

I believe this is why the hallucinogenics and the Ayahuasca medicines are being used so much, to get some awareness into these frozen places and get some healing around these wounds.  Everyone is different and I know people get relief taking this path and these medicines, but I also believe that not everyone knows what really, really good help is.  You are worth searching for this really good help, and it’s out there for you to support you in getting through the castle walls to freedom. 

When you meet one of these shocked places it can be like all of sudden you realize you are seeing through the eyes of an event that happened a long time ago and you had no idea of this.  Our eyes hold so much freeze for the body.  When one little piece gets moved through you and out of you people say they can even see better.   I liken it to looking through a stain glass window that has been cracked in many places.  Each of these cracks is an event that gets held inside of us until we are ready to see it, meet it and feel it through.  

Once this thawing process happens over and over again in bite size pieces that you can handle, you then begin to realize you have been looking through and seeing life inside of this freeze your whole life. You begin to question everything.  Is this real? What is real? Who is this person in front of me who is seemingly making me feel angry? Is this my frozen past that I am seeing through?  Good questions.  We project so much out of us onto the screen in front of us so it can be healed like a projector in a movie, only most don’t know this.  

Projection is Protection and is a great coping mechanism and it’s worked for a very long time, only it’s kept you inside of the Castle thinking this is your only reality.  It’s really helpful to know there is another reality and to stay really curious as to our reactions of what is in front of us, or even our non-reactions.    

If you are not at peace in any given moment then you are looking through the eyes of the past and the frozen places in you.  The Castle of Time has built many walls and they are thick, but there is alway the immense light of our awareness, the water around the castle, and a drawbridge to step across, whenever you’re ready.  

In the beginning was….

The Word.  Yes indeed and how powerful that is but what does that really mean and how can we harness this power in our life?

Here’s my thoughts on intention, manifestation with the power of our vibrational voice.  Jonathan Goldman, President of the Sound Healing Association says it perfectly with his formula:


But what of all these thoughts that scramble inside of me and just what is it that I am creating!  Yes we are creating every moment with all these thoughts but it’s just not as simple as changing our thoughts, although that’s a brilliant start.

These words, these powerful words of love, harmony and inspiration have to be able to get into us.  To land in our land, so to speak.  To dive into our bodily waters and penetrate our earthly bones.  And this.  Is our challenge.  For sure.

I recently had a student in my studio and I asked him to contemplate the difference between fire and water inside of his body as he is a big ol’ pusher.  Of course he’s only doing what he knows best as we all are.  I invited him to notice the movement inside of his body, the flow of energy there and align with this flowing power first with his mind.  Notice this river of motion.  Then to sing his song inside of this flowing water, moving with it and not pushing either into it or away from it.

This approach made a huge difference to how he sang his song and his voice became a reflection from the water inside of him.  His intention had merged with the movement of the water inside of him, his e-motions.  Energy that is moving.  His alignment of his vibrational voice and his water together with his intention of his mind and thoughts created this manifested Word.

Everything is a balance and singing reflects this.  A balance of fiery passion along with the flowing emotion.  The light on the water of our body, said another way it’s the intention of what we want aligned and lowered into our body of water that begins to change the course of accrued Time inside of us.

Over time and with much practice of meditation, embodiment work and the uncovering of the voice we can lower the water level of our awareness deeper and affect great depths with our intentions.

However along the way of this dropping down and lower we meet everything that is in the way of us dropping and bring it to the light for the Great Negotiations to begin.  We get to ask again and again ‘What do I want?’

This process is not for the faint of heart and requires great patience to allow the tides of emotion to wash away the old and start to rebuild anew, thoughts, beliefs, structures and all.

They, the thoughts that is, begin to appear without us fabricating them.  It’s the nature of our being and the way of the light to speak with love and kindness.  It’s there a little deeper down inside of us.  And that’s the really cool part.

“Drop in, drop down, through and all around, into this holy ground, this holy ground in me innocent, wild and free.”

Mind The Gap – The Chasm of Disconnection

A letter to those of you who are in pain; emotional pain, anger, discomfort whether physical or emotional it’s all the same thing and it is screaming at us to pay attention.  There is an approach to this that says ‘I must get out in front of this so I can beat it, fix it, fight it and control it, whatever it is. Think positive, get out of discomfort, control this natural coming together in us of above and below, light and dark, masculine and feminine etc.

The Gap is where our rising energy from the earth meets the sky, our mind, the thoughts and the conscious light of our awareness.  From what I have heard of from most people that I work with this is experienced in the solar plexus, our power centre.  Energy rises up from below and gets to the swamp land of our solar plexus where there are no bones about it and sits and goes…Back. To. Sleep.  

There is another force descending from above dropping down in us like light on water and this awareness generally stops at the heart or throat centers.  So there you have it, the Gap.  In-between the Solar Plexus or what I call the Fireplace, and the Heart or the Treasure Chest.  No mans land. 

Over the years of teaching singing I don’t believe I have ever run across someone who doesn’t have some version of this Gap.  I guess it’s our human condition.  Our conditioning showing up in us of doing the same thing over and over and the planet is throwing out soothers for it; food, exercise, positive thinking, meditation, drugs and alcohol.

Our parents did it, their parents did it, their parents before them and so on and the seasons they go round and round….and here we are now.  

There is an evolutionary energy in us called the Kundalini energy system.  This energy at the base of the spine which lies dormant in most albeit a slow trickle moving upwards is the most powerful energy in the world as the ancient yogi’s and sages have told us.  Kunda means snake and lini means coiled; a coiled up snake lying in the base of our spine.  

I believe them.  It’s almost killed me.  This is the stuff that the yoga world, the tantric energy system and Kundalini is after.  To awaken this nectar within us and to evolve our species beyond the fears and stuck energy that we all have in us.  To unlock the potential inside of us all.  

The Gap is where this nectar usually goes to die and a trickle gets to move up the spine to where it’s met by the light of our consciousness and then lights a little fire in our brain.  We get aha moments, insights, creativity and revelations from it.  We become aware of something we weren’t aware of before and it feels really good. 

Stay with me here.  The whole mandate of the egoic world is to keep us away from closing this Gap and to have us to not Mind the Gap.  Because let’s just say that if we all got what’s in the Gap and how to connect these two worlds of above and below, light and dark, feminine and masculine then things would change.  Things would change because we would stop buying it, literally we would stop and unplug from the material world in a very big way. 

Now conspiracy theories aside hopefully you can agree with me that this Gap is real and keeps us separate not only from each other but from our own true power that is our birth right and that now is the time to plug back in.  

Now here’s where the singing voice comes into play.  The voice requires a communication and connection between all the inner players on the field. The whole body. The legs and pelvis for grounding and stability of the voice, the belly for all the emotion in the voice, the power of the diaphragm to project you out of you, the heart to expand and anchor this loving energy, the the throat to carry, spread the voice, the face and head to further reflect the beauty and awe of your connected voice and the crown of the head to extend the meaning in the sound of the voice. 

A mouthful indeed. 

So, hopefully you see the opportunity before us.  If one of these components is missing it’s pretty easy to hear it.  A lack of power and vibration in the voice says so much about what is happening inside of you doesn’t it?  We know this and that’s why singing can terrify people.  Yup, for good reason, the voice tells us the inner weather inside of you down to the rain drops, the coming storms, the droughts and the inner floods.  Our nervous system appearing moment to moment through the sound of our voice. 

There are very few to take this opportunity that lies before.  I have a few singers in my midst who continue to step through the many doors before them in their voices and bodies all the while gaining more and more life, love and laughter in their lives. One morsal at a time, until it isn’t, one morsal at a time, but giant strides.  

When these two plugs, two hands, opposites of existence of light and dark come together inside of us this is where things start to get really interesting.  Now we have lightening strikes on a whole different level and storms we didn’t even know existed!

So what is required of us here? If we know that we have been saying ‘this is good and this is bad’ then maybe it’s time to be curious about what compassion, love and light really have to say about good and bad, and not us.  Let something else decide what’s right and getting the hell out of the way of some badass decisions that we make every day thinking we are in control of something we don’t understand. 

Whew.  Okay, let’s get down to the brass tax of this.  You have a feeling in your gut, your heart or somewhere in you that you disagree with.  Notice this and then notice the huge reflex in you to either; bolt out of or to control it, fix it and make it go away.  Notice the time frame of when you have this feeling to when you open the fridge, your wallet or your car door to get away, far away from something you don’t understand. 

This is another Gap.  The moment you become awake and aware to a feeling to the time you check out of the feeling.  A Gap. What if the first step was to notice you going back and forth between them and to let THIS BE OKAY. 

The next instalment will help you to understand some specifics as to how the kundalini energy moves within you, how you can bring compassion and love to all of weird and wacky wonders that appear within you.  All the while allowing the light of your mind to reflect and penetrate into your body of water, for your birth right to finally arrive within you.

There’s nothing to get over, there’s nothing to throw away but only to bring the light of your awareness to and to Let Go.  

F-E-A-R – Face Everything And Remember.